Sunday, 29 May 2011

Forgive, my Jesus. What am I without You?

My God, my God, no light, no guide for me, without a priest to whom I can confide all. O Heaven, O Heaven, O Jesus, O Mother!
The pits had disappeared, but my ears still heard in the distance the sounds of the devil. I felt his anger. In this bitterness, and position of violence, a good while passed. If Jesus doesn’t help me, who can save me? O my God, it is for your love, and for souls. Then I heard Jesus:
- You didn’t sin, my daughter, you didn’t sin, trust, you have given me the greatest consolation, you have given me all the reparation you could possibly have given.
Look, daughter, your guardian angel, who looks after you, now receives the task of caring for you by changing your position when these battles make it necessary. Be cheerful, I'm with you!
I was in the usual position. And after a while, I began to feel that I still had that rich treasure that the devil had made me forget. My soul felt so much joy seeing the wealth that I possessed! And I wished to embrace the rich treasure, I wanted to kiss it. I felt the joy of a mother who, having lost her son, found him again.
I cannot tell the joy of my soul. I cannot tell the concern that this gives me, I'm always afraid that someone might rob me. I want to do everything, I want to suffer everything so that there is no danger.
Yesterday, without thinking, said something that Jesus seemed to dislike. I was very sad. I humbled myself before the Lord, I was embarrassed.
- Forgive, my Jesus. What am I without You?
This pain stayed with me the rest of the day and most of the night. At dawn, when doing my preparation for the coming of Jesus, I could not withstand the pain. I cried and cried. What great pain I felt for having hurt the Divine Heart of Jesus. I wanted a priest with holy absolution to cleanse my soul.
You Purify me, Jesus, You cleanse me. Oh, the pain I suffer for having seen You hated. I am alone with no comfort from the earth. I do not blame You. Forgive me, forgive me! I accept the pain I suffer for those who displease You, and for all who sin seriously without knowing it.
This pain continued throughout the day and I kept careful watch over my heart. I have an intense craving to have whole worlds, thousands of them, crying out: Love, love Jesus!
My God, I do not know if I’ll win, I do not know if I can endure so much suffering. I want to see You loved by everyone and not offended. I cannot bear to see You suffer.
O sin, sad sin, that so hurts Jesus! O Love, O my love, what kind of caresses have You got in store for me? I wait for them, I see them. I'm afraid. If they hurt me a lot, I love You. The greater the pain, with Thy grace, the greater my love. O Heaven, save me, help me!

Sentiments of the Soul, 18-12-1944

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