The last phase
We have exhausted the direct
sources, the Letters to Fr Pinho and the Diary; let’s use the other sources: C
G (Cristo Gesù in Alexandrina), NoC (No Calvário de Balasar) .
About the sufferings, we have two letters of Dr. Azevedo to Fr Pinho.
One is of 10th January 1955:
Alexandrina is prostrated as
never before. She is reaching the top of her Calvary… It seems that everything
has evolved towards this climax. (NoC, p. 299 port.)
The other is of 17th
October 1955, four days after her death.
In the last months her pains
were horrible.
Lately she been suffering
immensely, and it seems to me that her illness, her pains, were of supernatural
origin, that origin referred by Henri Bon, when speaks of the supernatural diseases.
(NoC,
pp. 298-299, port.)
And a letter, to Fr Umberto,
from Doctor Irene de Azevedo, daughter of Dr. Azevedo (a dear friend who, in
place of Deolinda, had often written down what Alexandrina dictated for her
diaries); here are some lines:
We had the sensation that in
that room of pain something tremendously great and mysterious was happening:
that the last moments had arrived for a victim who had been asked for a great
reparation.
Standing next to her, I tried
to give to her a little consolation by wetting her dry lips. I did not dare to
speak to her, for fear of increasing her suffering (...)
She insistently asked that God
take her quickly to Heaven: it was the only prayer worthy of her. (...) What an
expression she had! Holy resignation to the will of God, but suffering to the
point of terror, such suffering that a soul can only undergo with the grace and
a great help of the Lord.
Since then I have an idea of
what the Passion and Death of the Lord would have been. (...) Contemplating her
most painful face, I seemed to hear the phrase of Jesus: “Father, why have you
abandoned me?” Everything was
consummated. (C G, p. 694)
In September, the martyr
Alexandrina had the generosity of allowing Deolinda to participate in a
three-day spiritual retreat in Fatima. It was a heroic effort, because only
Deolinda knew the best way to attend to her during these latter times of
atrocious pain.
Alexandrina, who felt that she
was already near the end, wanted to give Deolinda, with the retreat’s infusion
of spirituality, the strength to support the great blow of her death. (C G p.
691)
In the beginning of “her”
month, she hears the announcement of her departure.
Today, 2nd October,
the day of the Holy Angels, I felt that someone had touched in my shoulder and
I heard Angels singing. I asked:
Who will sing with the
Angels? Our Lord answered:
You, you, you, soon, soon,
soon. (NoC,
p. 299, port.)
In 1965 Deolinda told to Fr Umberto as follows:
It happened, if I am not
mistaken, on 7th October 1955. I had work in the house, watching the
stonemasons. My sister called me saying:
- Deolinda, you have run away
from me! I answered her: - I went, but
I’m coming back straightaway!
I sat down next to her,
because it was already difficult to hear what she was saying, and she gave me
the money destined for the missions and the purse of the money for the
house. This was usual; I was always
impressed with the way Alexandrina always managed our meagre finances, as well
as money for charities. (C G, p. 691, note 17)
The 12th
At 2am Alexandrina said to
Deolinda who was looking after her:
I am going to tell to you
something that I haven’t told you yet in order not to upset you. And this is
it: on 1st February, early in the morning, I heard a voice say:
Make an act of resignation at
the coming of your beloved Father (Fr.
Pinho). (…)
I did not dictate this at the
time so that you wouldn’t know. (C G, p. 691)
Later she added:
As soon as it is day, I want
you to make three phone calls.
1. To the girl Irene Gomes,
asking her to come home with our mother and to bring all her clothes because
she will be staying as I am going to die (the
mother was at the seaside taking a cure).
2. To Fr Alberto Gomes (her confessor), as a debt of gratitude on
my part and, if he agrees, to repeat publicly the act of resignation at the
arrival of Fr Pinho.
Meanwhile you will tell uncle
Joaquin so that he goes to call Dr. Azevedo.
3. To Mrs. Ana Pimenta (a friend and benefactor, who had expressed
a wish to be present at Alexandrina’s death).
During the morning she said several times:
I desire Heaven. I do not have
the slightest regret at leaving this earth.
All the darkness of the soul
has finished (...)
It is sun. It is life. It is
everything. It is God!
Deolinda at one point asked her: Do you want
anything?
Heaven, because I can no
longer stay on earth.
I want to receive the
Sacrament of the Sick, while I am still lucid.
In an illumination on the future, she exclaims:
One day, it will be very beautiful here! O Jesus, your will be done, not
mine!
Around 3pm the same day, in
the presence of her confessor, Dr. Azevedo, relatives and some close friends,
she made an act of acceptance of death.
Let’s look at the report made by the priest who attended her at the
moment of death, Msgr. Mendes do Carmo.
When all was prepared in that Calvary-Room, she made her spontaneous Act
of Resignation in front of all.
– O Jesus Love, O divine
Spouse of my soul, I, who in life always sought to give You the greatest glory,
I want, at the hour of my death, to make You an act of resignation upon the
arrival of my dear Spiritual Father; and thus, my beloved Jesus, if with this
Act I give greater glory to the most Holy Trinity, I submit myself joyfully to
your eternal designs… only to beg from Your mercy Your Kingdom of love, the
conversion of the sinners, the salvation of the dying and the release of souls
from purgatory. My God, as I always
consecrated my life to You, I offer to You now its end, accepting with resignation
the death, along with its circumstances, that gives You greater glory.
Later, in a clear voice, she
asked for pardon, she thanked and forgave all…
Still later she received, in
an angelic way, the Sacrament that purifies all vestiges of imperfections and
guilt.
The room was full of sobbing
and Alexandrina, dying, said:
- Do not cry, because I am
going to Heaven.
And she repeated:
Do not cry, because I am going
to Heaven! (C G, p. 824)
Here are some phrases that she said at intervals:
- O Jesus, I cannot stay
longer on Earth.
O Jesus, life costs; Heaven
costs!
I suffered everything in this
life for souls.
I squeezed myself in this bed
until I had given my blood for souls.
I forgive all… The torments
were for my good.
O Jesus, forgive the whole
world! …
I thank those who did good to
me; I will pray for them in Heaven.
I am so glad to be going to
Heaven! (Smiling and looking at a point
above).
To the doctor who during the
afternoon, wished her well before leaving, she said:
What clarity, what light! It
is all light (smiling).
The darkness has disappeared.
(C G, pp. 692-693)
No comments:
Post a Comment