MARCH 30, 1945 – HOLY FRIDAY (Alexandrina’s birthday)
I am wrapped in the same cloud that descended upon me yesterday. It has been a day that was only night, and a life that was only death. I lacked the longing to receive my Jesus. I suffered more in recent days with the memory of not receiving him than for not actually taking communion today. I suffered by feeling little pity.
Indifferent to everything, my soul felt, and my body also, that I had been imprisoned, and was being derided by some among a large rabble who could hear the opinions of the vile wretch who condemned me to death. My ears could hear, as if from a single voice, the words "die, be condemned". Oh, what howling from that crowd!
I took the cross, falling repeatedly; each step was a death. When I fell the cross was on top of me.
Not out of pity, but out of fear, they wanted someone who would help me to lift it. There was someone who did this, not for love, but because it was imposed; yet how much love I felt going out to him from my heart! What a great payment!
My body was given over to criminals, my spirit was alone in God.
On Calvary, the blood ran down from all the wounds in my body.
What hours of agony!
I felt in my soul all the sighs that Jesus gave; all the looks He lifted up to heaven were recorded in my soul.
Moments before Jesus expired he gave one long, long sigh. And during those moments it seemed as if He had no life. And in my soul I felt it all.
Oh, how beautiful it was! What beautiful lessons Jesus gives us! So mistreated yet so full of tenderness and love!
His most holy Body still suffering on earth while His Blessed Soul flew to heaven; flew and dispensed blessings and a deluge of love on the earth.
My Jesus came and made me forget the pain for a while. My heart began to swell and burst into flames.
- I come, my daughter, to congratulate you, to greet you, to praise you on your birthday, for your life so full of wonders, so rich in virtue, so rich in love! Your life is a river of gold and a mine of jewels! The world has never seen or come to see the like; you are the life of souls! It is with this wealth they are rescued, they are saved.
- Speak, speak, my Jesus, all the congratulations, greetings and praise are for you.
What do I do without You, my Jesus? What am I without You? All I can say, all I can express is that greatness is Yours, misery is mine.
- I praise you for your faithfulness and correspondence to my divine grace! I praise you for your reparation!
How many victims have I chosen, and received a refusal; how many I have called who did not listen to Me! How many I invited to enter a higher plane for my sake, and I received nothing...
In you I console Myself, because from you I receive all. You are the instrument of souls, you are the conqueror of Christ! Your whole life is one of wonders!
If you could but see the souls that were saved by you!... Especially during these last three years of your fasting! ...
What a great way to respond to sinners!.. I show here my power, my cravings and my love for them.
I said nothing on the anniversary of your fasting, to take from your disappointment all sweetness to Myself for the full advantage to souls. And I am just preparing you for your last stage.
Martyrdom accompanied with fasting is the greatest means, the ultimate means of salvation! There will not be only rich rivers of gold and precious seams, but it will be a golden world, a world of the same stones!
Martyrdom will lift you to the peak and love will reach its fullness!
The love of Jesus, the pain for souls, unique reparation! ...
Receive now, my daughter, the Blood of My Divine Heart, it is the life that you need, it is the life you give to souls!
I saw the Divine Heart of Jesus consumed with flames, overflowing with love. Attached to my lips, I felt my Blood to rush and my heart dilate for a long time.
- My daughter, Heaven praises Me for having created you, praises Me for the honor that you give Me and praises Me for that which already I get from earth.
Heaven praises Me and will ever praise Me! From earth I receive already praise and soon the whole world will praise Me for my victim, the new redeemer.
Prepare yourself, dear daughter, I'll give Myself to you. It's a sign that, though hidden, I always dwell in you. Listen, Heaven descends upon you. I give Myself to you in a real communion, in Eucharistic communion.
The vault of heaven came down upon me.
- How beautiful, how beautiful! - I exclaimed. It is worth it, my Jesus, worth all the pain and suffering to own heaven!
There were so many, so many the angels who extended their wings and gave homage to Jesus!
This time they did not sing. They bowed and worshiped as a sign of reverence in the presence of Jesus. They said the words Ecce Agnus Dei, then Corpus Domini Jesu Christi (1).
It seems good that I have stretched my tongue to receive Jesus. We stayed for a few moments in a deep silence, in a great union! Then Jesus called for His Heavenly Mother.
- Blessed Mother, come and greet and caress Our dear daughter, Our victim!
She came, took me onto her lap, covered me with treats and laced Her most holy arms with those of the Jesus, and embraced us both of us at the same time.
- My daughter, sweet-smelling flower of my Jesus, I love you, I love you along with Him. Receive all Our love.
I greet you for the praise, the honor and the souls you give us. Suffer, suffer peacefully! It is a Mother pleading for Her children, is your Mother who is pleading for your brothers.
Jesus kissed me on one side and my Heavenly Mother on the other. Jesus added:
- Go, dear daughter, and write everything! In everything you say, everything you do, you will always have the light of the Holy Spirit; He is speaking in you.
- Thank you, Jesus, thank you, Heavenly Mother!
Soon I had doubts about everything and was steeped in so much pain: there was no comfort from my loved ones around me. Then came sharp thorns to pierce me. For all I blessed the Lord, praying the Magnificat at the end.
(1) On April 11, she asks me: "What do these words mean? And the other, Corpus Domini Jesu Christi?" I also noticed that she usually does not know these phrases and, referring to them, says: "that words Jesus said in communion"(Father Humberto?)